Is it too late to fall in love?

Oh God, this is going to be one "emo" post; bear with me. I blame this post to the wedding video of Rica Peralejo and Joe Bonifacio that I had taken hold of because I accompanied my friend to this huge and famous wedding fair in the city. Their love story just made me tear up. It was beautiful, it was blameless, it was God-ordained. 

Sigh. It's like everyone round my age are all getting married or getting engaged. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for my friends, for the love that they found and for the life ahead of them. It's just that it also gets me thinking of my chance at love someday. Sometimes, in my prayer time, my heart aches when I pray and ask God to send me the right one. I know it's the deepest longing of my heart, to be loved and love in return. 

This time though, I promised God I won't settle for anyone whom I don't see myself in the long run, whom I don't share the same faith and values with. I made a huge mistake in the past and I don't wanna waste any more time giving chances to people just because they are there. This time, I know what I wanted---I wanted God to do the leading. I wanted Him to lead me to the right one, to whom I will grow with in my faith walk. 

Is it too late? Will I ever find the "one" that is "wedding worthy"? Or maybe to paraphrase it, will God ever lead me to the aisle one day wearing a lovely white lace dress? The thing that God tells me in all of this is simple: spend time with me first. Let me mold you first to the woman I want you to become. I'll take care of the rest. 

Sometimes... on some mornings

"Sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think, I'm not going to make it, but you laugh inside, remembering all the times you've felt that way."

~ Charles Bukowski

I will no longer elaborate. For days now, I've been dragging myself to step out of my room and to present myself to the world. I sure know I'm in the holding pattern. Can't move left, can't move right. Can't move forward nor backward. I have nowhere to go but this place, this moment. I have no one to meet, but these people standing before me.
 
The only consolation I get is that I know God has been preparing my heart, cleaning it up. He has torn me apart pieces by pieces so I will also know what to pick up and what to throw away in the sea of let-gos and forget-me-nows. Sure the days are hard and inspirations seem so hard to come by. I'm in this stage folks. But I know I'll surely graduate from this. I'll laugh again soon. Laugh again real hard... and loud. Aja!

Melancholy

"She indulged in melancholy, that cheapest and most accessible of luxuries..."

~ Charles Dickens

A simple reward

I've been traveling a great deal lately, albeit work-related. Just yesterday, I set foot in 3 different cities and navigated myself to 3 different airports in a span of 10 hours. For the first time in my life, I have known what being jet-lagged means. I felt hyper with all the caffeine I drank, groggy with all the transfers and when I checked in to my hotel, I felt so restless and sleepless despite the fact that I wanted to doze off so bad. 

But I love this part of my work. That I get to travel albeit locally. I've never been to Mindanao until this job so I'm taking it as an opportunity to see more of my own country. 

Last Friday, I and some officemates managed to escape work at 5 PM to climb a hill in Zamboanga City and watch the setting of the sun. I was told the sunsets uphill was lovely so I bugged my officemate to bring me there. The sun bid goodbye on our way uphill painting a warm reddish glow to the city. It didn't set where we expected it to so I had to find some ways to capture the lovely colors as a background.  

I don't mind traveling for work if at the end of the day, I will get a simple reward like this. :)