Some Goody Giddy Feeling

I woke up this morning feeling so giddy! The kind of feeling when you know something good is bound to happen during the day. The kind where your heart beats so fast but it doesn't feel like you are going to have a heart attack. Then kind when you simply feels good everything else doesn't matter. Simply good, that is. Yikes, what's happening to me?

Off I carried that goody gidding feeling. Came to the office, as usual late. Saw your "good morning" message and again... that goody giddy feeling. Will something good happen from this too friendly chitchats that last for a whole day? The thing was and is: Hindi ka naman dati ganito eh!

*Sigh. I.Have.No.Idea. *Confused.

For You Lord Tonight

Dear Lord,

What I'm feeling right now is overwhelming. I've tried putting them into words but words don't come easy. Maybe because I'm holding back so much or perhaps, I've overanalyzed the case. I don't know. I'm confused. I know that you are concerned for all of me and that even the matters of the heart shall be aligned to Your Will. I'm so scared Lord and I'm so happy at the same time.

This wonderful feeling strikes me every now and then, every waking moment since that one sweet night. And if this wonderful feeling is a glimpse of love, then God must have created LOVE so well. That when one feels it, it can change one’s life forever.  Someone has awaken something in me, some feeling I never know existed. But I need time. Time to figure out and time to pray for these. So till then.

Help Lord, please help me try to understand. I submit to Your Will. If You say wait, I shall. If You say no to this, would you please let me know before I let all my guard down and make something fool of myself? I'm begging Lord.

This wonderful feeling strikes me every now and then, every waking moment since that one sweet night. And if this wonderful feeling is a glimpse of love, then You must have created LOVE so well. That when one feels it, it can change one’s life forever.  Someone has awaken something in me, some feeling I never know existed. But I need time. Time to figure out and time to pray for these. So till then.

Goodnight,
Lai

My Heart on my Sleeve

Oh I don't know how to start. But I will and I shall. For my heart's sake, I shall pour out some thoughts into writing. If only this will make things a little easier in the next coming days. I have written here how uneasy I've been and how someone sent me this message to validate my being "uneasy". So it goes to say that my heart is on my sleeve with this post. Everything here will sound vague because the whole situation is indeed "vague."

I don't know how it all started. Why I'm acting and feeling this way, I have no idea. All I know is that I'm all about giving LOVE a chance. I have sent this special to request to the heaven's door far too many to have already been heard by God's messengers. But then again, I can be wrong. Right now, I'm caught between "shall I wait?" or "there's nothing there."

You see, I'm doing fine till you got here. And I managed to stay fine in between. These days, I have been trying to hold on to God's promise that He will sent His best for me at His perfect time. And surely, that moment and that person will be the good and perfect gift I have been waiting for.  Then I will know that the wait will be worth it.

Sweet Goodbye

I know you’re leaving today but I’m not expecting anything, any text, any call from you. None at all. What happened last Monday was enough to turn my world upside down. So I resolved to just leave it at that. Then I woke up to this text message:

“So Lai, alis na muna ako. Kelangan magtrabaho para may pang date tayo ulit.”

I find it sweet. Simply sweet. :)

Colorful Sunrises of Misamis

So I just came from Misamis from a one crazy work-related event I'd rather not discuss here. Let's focus on something beautiful from my trip, eh? The sunrises there were breath-taking, simply breath-taking. I spent two mornings walking up as early as I could to catch the sun waving hello to that part of the world. I guessed that's the reward I got from being dead tired from that event I hope to simply laugh about in years to come. More photos here. :)

Uneasy

Uneasy. Giddy. I love and hate this feeling at the same time. I won't be able to elaborate, at least not now when everything is still so young and new. This might lead to a good start, but then again, maybe not. Something's telling me this one will be different, this one will be right. And so far, it has been. But then again, how am I supposed to know? I know I've been praying for this, maybe not for a particular person but for just that "one." But then again, how am I supposed to discern? I just know that when it is right, everything will fall into place. You need not do anything about it, it will just happen. And when it's from the Lord, I know it's supposed to be beautiful, it's supposed to be wonderful, it's supposed to leave you in awe on how God can orchestrate everything. 

I guess there's nothing left to do but to let God take over and write the love story He desires for me. 

Bukidnon, a Greenland of South

Surprise! Surprise! I passed by Bukidnon! I didn't know we were going to pass by this green land after our company activity in Misaims. Or maybe I just didn't really know my itinerary or I've forgotten my rusty Mindanao geography so I didn't have a clue that we were going to pass through Bukidnon on our land trip to Cotabato!

What can I say? Bukidnon is breath-taking! It's so green that I have to name it the Greenland of the South. I'd love to go back there someday, not as a mere passersby but as a tourist. I'd love to stay longer, breath in the fresh air for days and lavish my eyes with the green fields and hills! It will really do me good! I bet it will. 

Slowing down and breathing in Bukidnon's fresh air.

Told you it's green all over.

Sleeping Giant. These mountains look like a sleeping giant when viewed aerial... ~ trivia by our company driver;)

~ The hills are alive here ~

The First Date

Note: This post was back-dated to October 18th and was posted when R already told me his intention to court me. In hindsight, I now realised why I was so nervous and excited all at the same time that first date. This much I know: It was the beginning of an answered prayer. 

So here we go, this is how our first date took place (written in present tense):

***

“Hi,” I say as I sit beside him in Powerbooks, Glorietta Mall folding my umbrella and not looking him in the eye. It has been more than a year. But why do I feel nervous, I have no idea. We were friends. We still are. 

“Hi! Thanks for braving the storm,” he says as he stands up and puts the magazine back in one of Powerbooks' shelves nearby. 

“Oh bakit hindi mo binili yun, ikaw talaga kuripot ka pa rin!” I tease him.

“Ha-ha-ha! Saan mo gusto?” he smiles as he leads me out of Powerbooks.

“Uhmm... ikaw, kahit saan, treat mo naman to diba?” I ask as we walk out of Glorietta. Geez, why am I so nervous? Chill, relax. It’s just him.

“Sa Shang tayo!” he says matter-of-factly, as if he has already made up his mind. Shangri-la??? Seriously. Di nya nga ako ma-treat non sa McDo! He's got to be kidding!

“Sure ka? Nakatsinelas lang ako” I say, unbelieving and looking down at my humble feet in my zebra-print slippers.

"Oo naman, don tayo. Okay lang yan!" he, too, is looking down at my feet. God, I'm thankful I had a pedicure, at least.

Then we laugh about something while walking towards Shangrila and I pat (oh well spank) him on his arm.

“Awww... ang bigat ng kamay mo ha!”

“Di mo ba ko namiss?” I say jokingly.

“Oo, namiss nga kita eh,.... namiss kita.”

Okay, this is not happening. It’s crystal clear we are just friends; we have been for six years now. BUT:

• Why Shangri-la?
• Why was I the first one he called when he arrived in the Philippines?
• Why are we two alone now?
• Why make me feel special by bringing me here?
• Is this a date?