Blogging My Heart Out of My Sleeve

From now on, my simple goal for blogging will be as simple as: TO BLOG FROM THE HEART.

I learned from my D-group (bible study group) to just simply share from the heart. Most of the time, when sharing in a group, we have the tendency to filter what's inside our hearts, mainly because we are afraid of what others might think of us, or we are trying to build up what we want others to think of us. At least, that's the way for me.  But the point is, it's only when you really dig into your heart as if you are trying to get some water from a deep well, that you would really see the condition of your heart.

Our hearts are deceitful, says Jeremiah and I agree. The heart has this amazing capacity to be happy and to be lonely all at the same time. It really is crazy. That's why I want to write more as a practice for my ever confused heart. It has always been my prayer that God will expose my heart and clean it and thereafter, grant me a right heart... free from all the bondages of lies, selfishness and insecurities. So are you ready to see through my heart? :)

Blogging my heart out of my sleeve,
Lai

7th M♥nth

mishmash at the airport

At the airport. Sitting at the laptop section of NAIA 2 killing time before my flight. So many things have been going on in my mind. I really don't know what to say. I'm sad again. Maybe it's really sad going to places you really have no connections with or going to places exclusively  for work ONLY. I've always tried to infuse some cheerfulness in wherever I go, but it's just not working right now. Sigh. Ooops, boarding time. I have to drag myself to my gate now. :(

Running Away... Jonah Style

Running. Yes. I am in that phase, Jonah phase. Been running from God for the greater part of this week. It's crystal clear to me what He wants to me to do: Obey Him in all aspects of my life. Go to Nineveh, He said to Jonah. But Jonah didn't get it. I didn't get it.  I couldn't seem to follow, to obey, to abide, to surrender. So I kinda backstepped, slowly, intentionally... rationalizing that I still love Him as my God, but for a while, I needed some time for myself. Not Nineveh Lord, not yet. You see I'm afraid. It's too much for me. I want to go to Tarshish instead. It would really be great out there. Nineveh would be a battlefield, certainly.

So slowly in the past days, I reduced my prayer time which was from point A (prayer in the morning and evening) downgraded to point B (mere prayer of thanks for the food I had to eat). Then went back to some bad old habits. I literally just slept through the storm, just like Jonah, oblivious to the fact that God was nudging me through the storm, through these little annoyances in the office and relationship conflicts with family and friends. 

And now. I am in that ship. Afraid I'll be thrown sooner out there to the open sea. Only this time, I know it won't be the big old whale who is about to swallow me. It is Sunday today and I missed the Sunday Service.  I know I need to come to God, confess my sins and go on. It has always been like that. I know I've been saved since accepting Jesus as my personal Lord and saviour early this year. I know I will always sin... but I never thought running away from Him would hurt this much. The truth is I hate myself. Because I already know the truth. OBEY. But I've been disobeying, sinning over and over again. There's this dark side of me that I hate so much. Then a question, "Lord why do you love me again? Why?" Then comes the answer, "I loved Jonah eventhough he ran. I searched for him, endured his grumblings, forgave his disobedience. I've been loving all the Jonahs in the world and still do."

Finally, I'm tired of running.

Universal Studios, Singapore

I"m a big fan of theme parks, but I found this place a bit boring, maybe because it was raining and there were lots of people that we spent an hour in queue just for one ride. Sorry.:(  Bf and I had the same opinion, actually. But anyways, photos for you:

Some details ;)

Stuff ;)

Loved the castle, but didn't enjoy the show. :(

Candylicious, indeed!