It's a Saturday morning. I'm having negative thoughts, again. Uhm, not exactly negatives, just thoughts on how my future will look like, more of worries I guess. Argggh, why does this feeling won't go away????
I know I've written here just two weeks ago that I should start using my energy to believe and not to worry. But alas, here I am again, falling to ungrounded worries. This hurts a lot, you know. It's like living in a bubble and wanting so bad to get out of that bubble so you can participate to a much grander world out there.
I guess, this is me again falling to insecurities. This is me again saying to myself: I don't look good enough, I don't earn enough, I don't see the world enough, I won't be loved enough. It's really an awful feeling that haunts me every now and then.
I do have faith that God is leading me into something. But these worries, these cruel, awful feeling, just stick themselves whenever they can. And my only relief so far is to cry and to beg God to please stick with me through this phase I'm going through.
Yes, yes. So much emotions on a Saturday morning. :(
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