Necessary Endings

How can I even begin writing about my two toughest weeks of 2014 by far? (Insert the longest and  deepest sigh here.) I might be your Ms. Smiley on those snaps but I was hurting and worrying when they were captured, truth be told.

Let me begin by saying that in the span of just two weeks, I lost two precious things---my job and my iPhone 5. The former I relied on for financial security; the latter I relied on for connectivity. Not to mention that the smart phone was a gift and therefore had a sentimental value.

Week 3 - The Lost Job

It's the first time ever in my nine-year career that I lost a job. I was briefly told that it wasn't about my performance but that the company could instead hire trainees, either for free or for only half of my salary. I knew this for a fact (as well as the cash flow difficulty) so I accepted the decision humbly knowing that it was God who willed this to happen. 

Now I am and was grateful for that job. But there were days I had no joy at all going to the marketplace. There were days when, the minute I sat on my desk, I was wishing the day was over even before the computer asked for my password.  There were days when the only motivation I could hold on to was Colossians 3:23. Coming from big companies in the past, I value integrity and quality at work more than anything else but perhaps I didn't share the same values with this company I worked for. At one point, I was even told that I wasn't assigned any "messy work" because I was used to "structured work", whatever that meant to them. So I knew it was just a matter of time, that I would leave this company soon. 

Apparently, God has other plans. He obviously wanted me out of there sooner than I expected. I was delighted to be out of that work but the moment it sunk in, I got worried about our finances and the job-hunting difficulty in the private accounting sector (i.e. not audit or accounting practice which is really not for me anymore in this stage of my life). My number one encourager in the person of my husband recounted the times I had no job but God sufficiently provided, that we managed to pay the bills somehow. Slowly by His grace, I felt like I was getting back on track.

Week 4 - The Lost iPhone5

However, days after, my iPhone 5 was pick-pocketed in the city. I hadn't fully recovered yet from losing one thing then here came another lost. It was ironic because this unfortunate incident happened the week I was fasting from social media. Naturally so, I posted a question to God; I asked why He stripped me off one thing after the other. Obviously one of these is to be more careful with my belongings because apparently, smart phone theft is the number one crime in Dublin these days.  That I have to learned the hard way.

Necessary Endings

Then I was reminded by this that necessary endings are necessary for pruning, for letting go and for accepting that some things, no matter how good they are, must come to an end. As the wise Solomon puts it:

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."

There's a beginning and an end. Our four seasons in a year in Ireland is the quintessential of this verse. The same goes with life. The same goes with possessions. The crucial thing is to know when something has ended so you can learn, let go and welcome the new season fully and wholly.

Rolando understands this concept better than I do. When I lost my job and my phone, Rolando got to me wherever I was and just locked me in his warm and tight embrace. No blaming. No scolding. Just pure unconditional love shown at the time it was needed the most. His words of encouragement to me were:

"Lai those are just material things. Eventually, they will get lost, they will be broken. So don't put your security in those things so that when they're gone, it won't hurt as much and you won't feel less of a person."

Necessary Beginnings

Necessary endings are also necessary for something to begin. Of the countless trials I hurdled in the past, God never took something away from me without replacing it with the best ones! He has never allowed something to end without leading me on to a new chapter, a new season. So even if it was painful to lose these precious things and to put an end to the comfort they provided, I know He is preparing something for me. I may not see it now, I may not see it in the coming days, I just simply need to trust His sovereign plan.

Lessons Learned

On why these things were stripped off me and had to end? Because most likely, these are not good for me or they are holding me back from my true calling. It can be that I may need to step out in faith and explore other avenues where my talents and gifts can be maximised. It can be (and this one is quite obvious) that I need to spend less time on a smart phone checking feeds/sites when I can be accomplishing something worthy of my time like honing a skill or doing a hobby.  It can be that He desires to make rooms for something better. And no, better may not mean a newer phone or a higher-paying job. Better means being able to cultivate gratitude in our hearts.  Better means growing up in this season of inconvenience and taking it as an opportunity to be moulded by God. Lastly, better may simply mean finding joy knowing and trusting that God means well and He knows best. The answers can come later. :)