Saved by Love

I'd just like to do a quick post. It's already 2:40 AM and fiance and I are finishing cramming for my video/teaser for my company's Christmas Party which by the way I despised doing but I'm left with no choice.  Imagine us at the opposite sides of the world, on different time zones doing little videos that will be consolidated into one before I can finally sleep, secured of my reputation and capability of doing one video/teaser that I'm not sure if anyone would even remember watching! Sigh. But responsibilities are responsibilities. I accepted, therefore I'm accountable. Sigh. I can say that tonight, I'm the luckiest girl on the planet. Without fiance and his encouragement, I would have abandoned this video project and just maybe opted for an AWOL!

Another long and deep sigh. I started this project last week but windows movie maker kept "not responding" each time I tried to save my video. It was so frustrating having to save and restart and redo things over and over again. I even went on sick leave last Friday for this, missed Sunday service and gotten into LQ with fiance because I think the world was not cooperating with me and my simple prayers were not being heard and well, all my frustrations, my bruised heart from criticisms and my impatience have gotten into a helluva mix of ungratefulness and selfishness. I had gotten too tired and too sleepless to even bother. Sure, LQs will happen, but that's another piece of story that must be dealt with separately and carefully. I kinda mixed all my frustrations into one deadly serving!

I know all these lessons of laying all my negative emotions before God and just surrendering but really there are times that it won't just work with me. I honestly think I failed in my latest trial. :( I had been praying last week, I honestly did, what I failed at miserably was that I was too panic-stricken and deadline-driven that I failed to listen to the still small voice telling me "Lai, things like this would happen, test of faith will happen to bring about perseverance and faith". Oh, yes, I am of little faith. :(

But there's one person here on the planet who wouldn't give up on me and there's One up there Who wouldn't give up either. I am so much saved by love, so much that I have to write about it eventhough I only have 3 hours to sleep and get energized for another work day.

Windows Movie Maker says I can now play the consolidated videos (made by me and fiance).  Dear world, I now have the right to be one with my comfy bed.

I'm so sorry dear God... thank you for extending Your unconditional love through Lando. Thank You for sorting things out and giving us both the humility and the perseverance needed for a long distance relationship. We'll surely talk about this more. Right now, I just want to say sorry for having little faith. May you continue to work in me, teach me to please You more than the temporal people at my new workplace. Teach me to use my negative emotion as a cue to come to You and to align my life with your Will. In Your Name, amen.