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| Striking anywhere. |
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| Nursing a little reindeer on Christmas; photo being shared here with the permission of his dad. :) |
Did I really intend to breastfeed from the start? Yes. But if I came in to the delivery room ready to battle labor---I asked around, I researched, I exercised, I practiced J breathing like my life depended on it, I prayed and all---I wasn't prepared at all when I stepped onto the breastfeeding ground.
Much tears and blood were shed, literally, the first few days. Over the next few weeks, we battled low milk supply, clogged ducts, stubborn thrush, wounded nip, blistered nip, colicky cries, reflux and the most worrying of all---slow weight gain. With the right support and by God's grace, we've overcome all of those, one breastfeeding session at a time.
One of the toughest times in our breastfeeding journey were the times when Zeya was crying inconsolably, all day every day, a.k.a. colicky days. It was confidence shattering. I heard from well-meaning friends "baka konti lang milk mo kaya umiiyak," or another like "baka kulang milk mo kaya hindi tumataba" and "mag mix-feed ka na para tumaba." (Short translation: I don't have enough milk). There were days I almost believed these statements to be true.
But Zeya has latched on well from day one. He has produced sufficient wet and dirty nappies. He's been healthy all throughout with only one fever on record, his first vaccine, and only one instance of colds. He has been hitting all his milestones fairly on time, even earlier. At nine months, he's now standing up on his own and I'd say, he'll be walking without support soon enough. If my milk was not enough for him, I don't know where he's gotten all his energy to be this physically active and well. :)
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Just some photos of our breastfeeding journey. |
| Snuggled after a feed |
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| In my nursing/gliding chair, one of the best purchases we made. |
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| Feeding on the go, thank God for well thought of breastfeeding nooks in the shopping centres |
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| One of the best feeding rooms in Dublin shopping centre |
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I can write on and on about our breastfeeding experience. But here's the more important thing I'd like to share to you. As with every struggle I face in my life, I take it as a faith exercise. Breastfeeding is no exception.
Countless times I fell on my knees begging God to increase my milk supply so that Zeya would fatten up like other babies. Well, as you will know God checked my heart. The Lord taught me to just focus on my baby and avoid comparing. As we adults are different, the Lord created babies in different sizes and shapes too.
The Lord also taught me to trust my body the way He intended it to function. Just as I trusted my body in the unmedicated labor I went through when I gave birth, He was asking me once more to trust that I am capable of nourishing my child by nursing him. I was after all, fearfully and wonderfully made.
Through all our breastfeeding struggles, I realized God has been shaping up and strengthening my mommy heart. He was teaching me to surrender this to him, that He's got this. That He has made it a bit harder for me to humble me lest I bragged that I was doing oh so well as a first time mommy. That all throughout my motherhood, I'll hear varying voices but it's up to me to sift through the mix and do what's best for my family.
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I'm ending this long post with a grateful heart. Grateful for my 10-month long maternity leave which enabled me to exclusively breastfeed. Grateful that we are closer to our goal of breastfeeding Zeya for a year. Grateful that he is slowly but steadily catching up. Grateful for the community of people I met, online and otherwise---lactation consultant, midwives, and a host of breastfeeding mamas. Grateful for the good, for the pain, for the humor, and for the nourishment this breastfeeding journey never fails to provide on a daily basis. :)
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