First New Year with Our Little One

We welcomed the brand new year in our cozy little home six floors above the ground. Minutes before the clock struck 12, I was snoozing away in our bed with Zeya beside me. I didn't have the heart to wake him up. We were at a party hours before and the bubba must be exhausted from all the noise and cheers. 

R gently woke me up whispering "It's only a few minutes now, Mommy."  Eyes still heavy from the deep sleep brought about by breastfeeding hormones, I joined him in the living room. R did all the preparation, the cleaning and the cooking. Our New Year meal consisted of a humble ready-to-cook chicken, leftover takeaway from the party and a bottle of chardonnay, significantly simpler than the previous years'. 

We watched a New Year countdown from our Mac and peered outside for any signs of fireworks. Pretty much negligible. We kissed and hugged as the clock showed 12:00 AM. Same as the past five New Years we've celebrated together since we got married, we welcomed the year with a prayer. 

I couldn't remember the exact prayer my dear husband uttered, but this bit stuck with me:

"Lord, we welcome you in our lives this 2017."

That pretty much summarises the direction we want to stir our boat to this year. We want to invite Him in our home, in our lives, in our dreams. HAPPY NEW YEAR, dear family and friends. :)

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Photos taken on the afternoon of January first, taken for memory-keeping our first New Year as a family.  :)

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Our Breastfeeding Journey

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE | DAY 29

Striking anywhere.

It is without a doubt, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. Much harder than pregnancy and giving birth combined. But here we are, nine months in and we're still breastfeeding! { happy dance } I am grateful we've come this far when I thought we'd only last a few days.

Nursing a little reindeer on Christmas; photo being shared here with the permission of his dad. :)

Did I really intend to breastfeed from the start? Yes. But if I came in to the delivery room ready to battle labor---I asked around, I researched, I exercised, I practiced J breathing like my life depended on it, I prayed and all---I wasn't prepared at all when I stepped onto the breastfeeding ground.

Much tears and blood were shed, literally, the first few days. Over the next few weeks, we battled low milk supply, clogged ducts, stubborn thrush, wounded nip, blistered nip, colicky cries, reflux and the most worrying of all---slow weight gain. With the right support and by God's grace, we've overcome all of those, one breastfeeding session at a time.

One of the toughest times in our breastfeeding journey were the times when Zeya was crying inconsolably, all day every day, a.k.a. colicky days. It was confidence shattering. I heard from well-meaning friends "baka konti lang milk mo kaya umiiyak," or another like "baka kulang milk mo kaya hindi tumataba" and "mag mix-feed ka na para tumaba." (Short translation: I don't have enough milk). There were days I almost believed these statements to be true.

But Zeya has latched on well from day one. He has produced sufficient wet and dirty nappies. He's been healthy all throughout with only one fever on record, his first vaccine, and only one instance of colds. He has been hitting all his milestones fairly on time, even earlier. At nine months, he's now standing up on his own and I'd say, he'll be walking without support soon enough. If my milk was not enough for him, I don't know where he's gotten all his energy to be this physically active and well. :)

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Just some photos of our breastfeeding journey.

Snuggled after a feed

In my nursing/gliding chair, one of the best purchases we made.

Feeding on the go, thank God for well thought of breastfeeding nooks in the shopping centres

One of the best feeding rooms in Dublin shopping centre

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I can write on and on about our breastfeeding experience. But here's the more important thing I'd like to share to you. As with every struggle I face in my life, I take it as a faith exercise. Breastfeeding is no exception.

Countless times I fell on my knees begging God to increase my milk supply so that Zeya would fatten up like other babies. Well, as you will know God checked my heart. The Lord taught me to just focus on my baby and avoid comparing. As we adults are different, the Lord created babies in different sizes and shapes too.

The Lord also taught me to trust my body the way He intended it to function. Just as I trusted my body in the unmedicated labor I went through when I gave birth, He was asking me once more to trust that I am capable of nourishing my child by nursing him. I was after all, fearfully and wonderfully made.

Through all our breastfeeding struggles, I realized God has been shaping up and strengthening my mommy heart. He was teaching me to surrender this to him, that He's got this. That He has made it a bit harder for me to humble me lest I bragged that I was doing oh so well as a first time mommy. That  all throughout my motherhood, I'll hear varying voices but it's up to me to sift through the mix and do what's best for my family.

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I'm ending this long post with a grateful heart. Grateful for my 10-month long maternity leave which enabled me to exclusively breastfeed. Grateful that we are closer to our goal of breastfeeding Zeya for a year. Grateful that he is slowly but steadily catching up. Grateful for the community of people I met, online and otherwise---lactation consultant, midwives, and a host of breastfeeding mamas. Grateful for the good, for the pain, for the humor, and for the nourishment this breastfeeding journey never fails to provide on a daily basis. :)

Grateful for this Gig called Mommyhood

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE | DAY 27

I am nine months in to this motherhood gig as of this writing folks. Nine months!!! Feels like I'm still deep into the fog of the newborn stage, yet the past nine months whizzed by in the blink of an eye. If you asked me how's motherhood so far, let me tell you this:

I've never been so sleepy and so exhausted in my whole life yet so in love with a little human being, ALL AT THE SAME TIME.

That about summarises the past nine months of my mommyhood life. And in case you want to know more, I mean nine months of broken sleep. Nine months of dealing with the vicious cycle of wet and dirty nappies. Nine months of staring at my hideous stretch marks and wondering how on earth they haven't found that magic serum yet for this pregnancy phenomenon. That and more unglamorous things I'd rather not talk about. And I haven't spoken yet about breastfeeding (which is next on my blog list). 

On the other hand, it has also been nine months of countless warm cuddles and snuggles, thousand giggles and tickles, innumerable sweet kisses, and gazillion little precious moments which tell me I am where I am supposed to be. Did I not dream of and pray for this? Of rearing another human being to grow up knowing Jesus and loving the wonders and beauty of this world?

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And so despite the struggles, the craziness and messiness of being a first time mommy, I am extremely grateful. Grateful to do this motherhood bit. Grateful that God said yes when He could've said no.

Grateful that even though I laboured for 48 hours, I got the natural and unmedicated birth that we hoped and prayed for. Grateful that we overcame the colicky and refluxy stage. Grateful that we are still breastfeeding at nine months.

I'm all the more grateful for the things unseen but felt. Grateful that I am growing in patience and resilience. Grateful that I am becoming more intentional with the things that truly matter. Grateful to learn more about God's relentless love through the perspective of a parent. 

I'm grateful most of all and through it all, that I have God's grace to fill in the gaps when I'm failing as a mom, when I'm loosing my cool, when I'm doubting my instincts. 

I have truly tasted and seen that the Lord is good and faithful in my mommyhood life.  And I've only just begun... :)

With my broccoli lover, electrical cord muncher and sleep fighter nine-month old! :)

Our First Christmas as a Trio

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE | DAY 26

Days leading to Christmas, we had a teething baby whose second tooth took forever to break out. On Christmas eve, the said baby gave us a gift---a silent night, a holy night. No crying. No screaming. Just waking up for a few minutes to nurse. Thank heavens, the three of us slept well. Therefore no celebratory photos welcoming the 25th. But we did get a good night sleep, which deserved much celebration in my little household.

When I finally got my two boys ready for some holiday picture taking, dear ol' crankiness came back with a vengeance! Baby Z wasn't in the mood for a toothy smile. He only wanted to play, practice walking and chew on anything he fancied to chew on. Activities not in this category sure made him a cranky baby; we got very few frames with a smile.

And so in this light, I present to you our Christmas holiday photos. Don't expect a toothy grin from our cranky, teething reindeer. :)

The riotous family photos, you know, the kinds which don't normally get published in the social media. But in keeping with my desire to get real in my blog, here they are:

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Amid the teething and sleeplessness, the seemingly unending chores that R and I juggle with on a daily basis, the house dream that takes a lot of time researching about, the decision to just buy the essentials and forgo the luxuries, there is much to celebrate and be grateful for this Christmas season.

I am thankful most for my tribe of three, for Baby Z's first Christmas and for the reason for this season---Jesus. May we be able to live out our lives in ways that will make Zeya know Jesus. That will be the best gift we can give him not just on Christmas day, but all the days of his life. :)

10-Month Long Maternity Leave

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE | DAY 14

I'm grateful I live and work in a European country where maternity leave is quite long. In Ireland, the maximum maternity leave is 40 weeks or 10 months, 26 weeks (6 months) of which are paid either by the company that you work or via the social welfare department. The remaining 16 weeks (4 months) are unpaid, but still! When I look at other countries' maternity leave benefits, 40 weeks is generous enough. 

I opted for 40 weeks and that 40 weeks is about to end this December. I was supposed to go back to work in January but the Lord has given us another favour. I was able to extend that leave with my boss up to the second week of February and with me being back in the payroll end of December. Thank you Lord!

I'm also grateful R and I are in the position where I was able to go salary-less for a stretch of 10 months. Much financial planning is needed when you have another soul to take care of and so far, we've survived. 

Most of all, I'm grateful for this period where I can devote time to be a full-time mommy, to recover well from the tolls of giving birth, and to breastfeed Zeya. I strongly feel for working moms who have not much of a choice but to go back to working soon after giving birth. I feel you mommies and it is my prayer that all of the world should unite and bring forth a standard maternity leave for  working mommies. 

I will reserve my musings about motherhood and breastfeed in another post. :)

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Double Baby Shower

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE | DAY 13

I could never let this year pass by without writing this in my online space and without thanking, once more, the people who blessed us with a fun, memorable double baby shower---for a baby boy and a baby girl. We truly appreciate your hearts, and we're very grateful for your presents, your presence and most of all, your prayers.

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Rovelyn and I were in the same bible study group in 2015 and were in the same season of praying for a child---my first, her second. I remember soliciting prayers from each one in the group and we would almost say the same answer as one of the things we would like to be prayed over,  "Baby sana..."

It never fails to amaze me how and when God answers our prayers. I shared my testimony of getting pregnant in church and a week later, I learned of Rovie's pregnancy too. Our due dates were (surprise, surprise!) only a day apart. Galing ni Lord!

Fast forward to March 2016, both in our 37th week of pregnancy, and there we were, surrounded by the loving presence of the people we do life with. Again, thank you. Not just to the people who joined us that day, but to those who gave us presents too after, prayed for us, gave advices for labor and motherhood, and wished us well.

As of this writing, the two babies, Zeya and Emma who both entered this world via normal deliveries, are two healthy babies. They have an amazing wardrobe and essentials because of your generosity. And in behalf of these little ones, we would like to say thank you again. We are grateful beyond measure. :)

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Mums to Be (oh my gosh, we were huge!)

Lovely decors in pink and blue

Food!!!

Measuring the Bellies

Games!!!

And gifts!

And more of 'em! 

Now the bloopers! I received the gift for a baby girl, and vice versa for Rov! 

We were overjoyed. Thank you y'all!

Advices from the moms

The point where my Mama said the funniest joke :)

Prayers

Thank you ladies! I wonder who's next? :)

With my Mama who happened to have arrived the day earlier! Talk about God's timing!

Now with the daddies!

Our bible study group! (Special thanks to you Micah and Mona for organizing!)