Entourage Complete!

Today I just knew I needed to finalized our entourage. It will be March soon and I need to move forward. Gosh! *cramming talaga eto!

One time when I was browsing the internet, there's this "Would you be my bridesmaid?" invitation that caught my eye. I told myself I would do something like that for my girl entourage. :) Well, I'll only get married once so I'm really making sure each aspect has a special touch! :)

So here goes the DIY invitation I made using Paint! Drawn by a kindergarten? Rrrrriiiiight! Hahaha! The whole album is posted here:

While drawing in Paint, my two beautiful nieces were my critics. They made comments like, "Ay Tita Lai ang panget ng buhok nyan!" "Ay Tita, bakit skyblue?" (referring to a very light purple I originally used for Luan's dress) and the most hilarious one, "Ay Tita di ka marunong mag-drawing ng paa?" Lol!

I remember two decades ago when I was in my ugly duckling elementary state, I used to have a collection of paper dolls complete with wardrobe for all occasions. Every recess, I would open my book where the dolls were safely and neatly hidden and start dressing up my paper dolls! I'd match each dress with shoes, bags and If I get creative enough, I'd even make a headband or sunglasses for my dolls! Oh the memories!

Going back to the present world, who would've thought that someday, I'll have a bunch of beautiful girls who will stand by me as I pledge my self to the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with? My heart is soaring with gratitude to God for these wonderful girls who've been with me in this life journey. :)

For the complete list of entourage, just wait for the launching of our wedsite. :)

Heart Check

It's lunchtime. I'm munching and writing at the same time, hoping I could get some extra baggage in my heart out to words, out to this post. My birthday was three days ago and I still haven't completed a proper birthday post. :( I've been disorganized lately and I think it's time for a heart check.

I'm hurting, yes I am. I can't pinpoint exactly why but I guess it boils down to relationship issues and wrong self perceptions. When I say, relationship issues, I don't mean my relationship with fiance. So far, it's the only thing that's going well in my life and I'm not saying this for my own credit. The credit goes to God for enabling us to work this through despite the distance. It's by His grace alone. 

So, relationship issues. In my own honest assessment, I have not been a loving person lately as what my Savior would like me to be. I've been selfish and I'm hurting because I realized that I have not been receiving love because I'm not giving it. I've been so pre-occupied with work and wedding preps that I failed to be present to the people around me.  It is also because I'm wrestling with God's command to love despite and inspite of. It's me being disobedient that causes me this pain.

Another is my wrong self perceptions. I realized lately that I'm finding it hard to ask forgiveness of my own sins from God because I, myself, don't forgive easily when others offended me. My human tendency is to make tampo, or worst, to make revenge. That's the ugly side of me. Truth be told, that I am as ugly as this.

Also, I learned lately that what I perceive of myself is not what others perceive of me. I was surprised to know that people don't think of me as shy, when I thought I could die from being shy. Someone even thinks I have a strong personality, which to me is a big surprise because I never  ever think of myself as strong. There's also this leadership issues at work that I'm finding it hard to digest and to practice. Maybe, I just have to admit, humbly, that I have a lot to learn on being a leader. It goes without saying that, I have to be trained, that I have to make adjustments and learn to listen to criticisms.

In the end, I know it's about time to change heart, to pray more for God's power to change me. I certainly want to reach point B, to be a confident, clear leader. I certainly want to be a more loving, forgiving and caring person. I want to touch lives, I want to make a difference. Something in me says I can't do it and that it's easier to stay lax in relationships and be passive about improvements. But a much bigger side says I can do it and I want to do it because I want to be worthy of what God has given me.

Dear Lord, there might be something else that causing me this subtle pain in my heart. I pray Lord that you will speak to me. I want to learn from you Jesus. Forgive me for the hurts I caused to the people closest to me, forgive me for not acting on love, for being selfish, for being self-centered. Forgive me Lord, for not giving my best at work, for not being a good leader. Train me, Father God. Mold me, change me, remake me. This I pray. 

Surprise-filled Birthday!

Surprise! Surprise! I received this awesome greetings from all over the world---Singapore, USA (New York, L.A & Missouri), Greece, UAE, Malaysia, Australia, British Virgin Island, Bermuda, Jersey, Gibraltar and PH (Tagum, QC).

I was overwhelmed with joy when fiance told me about this, exactly at 12 AM of my birthday! He said he had been in contact with friends since December 2011 behind my back! Hahaha! The reason, at one time, he couldn't allow me to read his messages in FB. He just asked me to trust him so I knew he was up to something. I already received this cutest Instax so I wasn't anymore expecting for anything. But my man knows how to surprise me! I love you fiance! So much!

As I turn 30 (yikess! hahah!), I can say I am a much grateful person. I'm grateful for life and love. Most importantly, I'm grateful for knowing I have a God who is in control of my life and I literally have nothing to worry. He has given me the desires of my heart. Truth be told, I'm still far from being the woman God wants me to be, I have dreams that are yet to come true. But as I learned to grow in my walk with God, I know that everything happens for my good. So bring it on dear 3-0! Let's rroooolll!!! :-)

Instax and Instant Photos!

Yay!!!! I received this uber awesome birthday gift today:

I think there's something magical with having your photo taken and printed, minute apart, no downloading to pc, no post-processing. In an instant, there's your photo, right exactly to where it was taken! Galing diba? I'm an old soul, really. Whereas everybody wants digital, I find myself wanting to go back to Polaroid a.k.a. film days! But since Polaroid is hard to come by, not to mention expensive, Instax is a very good alternative! It's so cute pa, diba? :)

I've been dreaming of Instax for two years. Now, it has come true thanks to ehem... my fiance for granting another photography wish! He already gave me a Lightroom in December, much to my surprise! :) Lando is really matipid but he never minds splurging for me. That's why I take care of everything he gives me, small or big, for they magnify the love he has for me. He always finds a way to make my smallest dream come true. For that, I couldn't be more thankful. :)

A happy happy birthday to me! 

2012 Valentine Project

This Valentine Project is something I've always looked forward to since I got hooked to photography two years ago. Now on my third year, I feel nostalgic remembering the past years of waiting, hoping and praying for love, and eventually finding it.

You see, when I started this Valentine Project in 2010, I was single and not ready to mingle. The second year (2011) I was in a relationship. Now on my third year (2012), I'm engaged! Next year (2013), I'll be married! :) Somehow, this Valentine Project represents my faith in love and the One Who Authors it.

Back to being single in 2010, I never lost hope that God would give me that person whom I can grow with in faith. Coming from a relationship that was headed nowhere, I knew better. This time, I wouldn't settle for "someone who was just there" a.k.a. "pwede na." This time, I had requirements: I wanted God's best. Although friends around me started getting married one by one, I stayed calm. Truth be told, there were moments that I would cry out to God but it wasn't out of desperation or panic, but out of a desire to be pursued, to be chased, to be loved by a fellow Christian. I prayed relentlessly and waited patiently. I also acknowledged the fact that I, myself, needed a lot of growing up. I strove to become a better version of me.

To make the long story short, towards the end of 2010, God finally answered my prayer in the most surprising way. The man he gave me to love was just right there all along, a few feet away from me for five long years! We got engaged in September 2011 and now, the wedding preps are on-going. By God's awesome grace, we'll be sealing our love story in marriage in June 2012. :)

Here's the preview to 2012 Valentine Project, posted in full here. A Happy Valentines to all! ♥♥♥