Sunday Graces and Summer Hues

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE | DAY 28

It was one beautiful Sunday morning in August, the sun was shining bright, the sky a cheerful blue, the breeze a little colder but still summery. Our activities for this particular Sunday had been carefully planned out the night before---we'd go to church in the morning, eat lunch somewhere nice and baby-friendly (breastfeeding-friendly too), and go to Howth, the north side of Dublin Bay for some seaside sight seeing. 

Sunday morning came. We woke up a little late because Zeya woke up late (yes, let's blame it on the baby, shall we? :)) and I didn't have the heart to wake him up because an additional 15 or 30 minutes in my sleep is already a heaven on earth! So I slept some more until our human alarm clock whimpered beside me, a sure call for milk or attention. Or both.

After two hours of frantic preparation, most of it was making sure we had everything for baby's needs, we were finally crammed in the car, all set and ready to go. The only problem was we were running extremely late. How late? Let's just say, church service started at 10 AM, we were just about to leave the house minutes before the clock struck 10. As Rolando turned the ignition on, I gently uttered, "We are so late babe," for which he agreed quietly  "Yes, we are". We both knew we weren't attending church anymore. Rolando keyed in a new destination in our car's GPS. An air of guilt hovered around us.

This was the kind of Sunday when you needed grace more than any other day. Grace not to bicker and blame on who caused the delay, or who did not remember to check the nappy bag's contents, or who did not eat breakfast fast enough.  Grace to get through this season of sleeplessness and messiness. Grace to love each other beyond our parenting hits and misses, including missed Sunday Services. Grace to find our groove as a little family of three.

Grace. Yes, we needed an extra ounce of it that particular Sunday. I'm grateful that my relationship with Him isn't based on the things I do or fail to do but on His grace.

***

So off to Howth we went. A little earlier than planned. We hiked the Howth Cliffs twice in the past when we were still child free. It was surreal stepping back with a baby in tow.

It was sunny but blustery when we stepped out to the Summit so we bundled Zeya up making sure he's protected from the wind and the sun. The Summit was a sight to behold. The sprawling gorses (yellow) and heathers (purple) against the blueness of the sky and the seafoam shade of the sea make up for a lovely summer postcard.

As I forgot to bring the DSLR, I used iPhone 6 to capture memories that day. I seem to keep forgetting things since Zeya's arrival. Yet another reason to practice grace upon myself.

I leave you now with these photos. I have to make a mental note to myself to go back again next year. Same time, same weather (hopefully), to relish and capture these lovely summer hues once more.

More breath-taking views of the cliffs, the gorses and the heathers and the famous Bailey Lighthouse.

Blogging With a Purpose

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE | DAY 9

The one thing that made me decide to become active in blogging again was this free blogging with a purpose course. I'm grateful I went through the 7 days listing down and outlining things, well not really 7 days in my mommy days, but I finished them all in my own pace. And because I did, blogging has become a more purposeful channel of time for me. 

I've always wanted to be a memory-keeper. It's in me. No matter how much I ignore it, the need to document life and capture memories are something I just couldn't shake away, hard as I try. It haunts me even in my broken sleep! 

Now I can say that before this year ends, I am fully embracing this part of me. The memory-keeper girl, the photo-capturing lady, the new trying-hard-to-thrive mom, the wanting-to-make-a-difference believer. 

I am grateful that the Lord planted this seed in my heart, the seed to share, the seed to encourage. It has been my prayer that if one person was reached by this blog, then I know I've done my part, that I'm doing this with a purpose. 

***

I'm still catching up with my 30 Days of Gratitude, praying I'll be able to see to it till the 31st of December. :)

When our Most Cherished Prayer was Answered

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE | DAY 1

This is a testimony I'll be forever grateful for. This didn't happen in 2016 but I'm including it as a prelude to all the other things I'm grateful for this year.

In my quest to chronicle my mommyhood and to document my gratitude about it, here is the testimony I shared one Sunday in church in August 2015, a few weeks after we learned we were pregnant. If you come across this online space of mine and is in the trying-to-conceive-but-none-seems-to-be-working season, my encouragement for you is to strengthen yourself in the Lord. Easier said than done, I know. But God is the strength of your heart and your portion forever. Knowing His heart through it all is the greatest reward of all. I may not have waited as long as you have, but I waited just the same, I was frustrated just the same, I lost heart just the same. Hang in there sweet sister.

***

Good morning church. As some of you have known, Rolando and I had been trying for a baby in the past two years. When we got married in June 2012, we had our own timeline plotted out: work hard, save up and travel on the first year; have a baby on the second year, and so on. We thought we had an amazing plan and we could manoeuvre into our own timeline with very little detours.  However, the Lord has a completely different timeline for us.

Trying to conceive (TTC) had been a worrying season for us. Just as when we started praying and trying for a baby, a strange thing happened to my menstrual cycle. (I have to note that I didn't take any birth control pills or any other medication for this matter). I had a regular menstrual cycle the past 3 decades of my life, i.e. 30 days. But when we started "trying", it went completely off. There were months I'd have cycles as long as 41 days, giving me false hopes that I might be pregnant. Other months I'd have cycles as short as 26 days accompanied with migraine and nausea. For the past two years of trying, no two months registered the same cycle. It changed from month to month which also made the monitoring of ovulation extremely difficult and stressful for us. 

I am a worrier, admittedly and this situation did not just worry me, it scared me. The fear of infertility was so real I could almost sense its overwhelming power to steal joy in my heart as years added to our marriage. 

After a year of trying, we did what most TTC couples would normally to---we had some medical tests done.  Since I was the one having irregular menstrual cycle, we thought something must be off with my hormones or heaven forbid, my reproductive system. We prayed against it but for practicality, I underwent some tests to ease our minds. I went for a complete pelvic scan, the result was normal. I was assured I was perfectly fine. I went for a pap smear to rule out PCOS and by God's grace, that too, was normal. And finally to rule out annovulation or the case of not ovulating, I had an extensive blood test to check my hormones. And that too was again normal. Stress wasn't a big factor because I previously had a job where I'd have sleepless nights and yet, my menstrual cycle remained normal. I am currently working on a less stressful role, so I couldn't say I'm stressed out, work wise. 

These tests offered us some relief but still my heart kept worrying and wandering. Somehow, I thought if there was something wrong with me, at least we would know the course of action to take, we could at least control the outcome. Waiting just doesn't suit me well. 

When we've exhausted all the possible tests we could at least afford, Rolando lovingly told me to just give it some rest, that since every test I took resulted to normal, then maybe it is just God's timing we should wait for. The Lord is the only Giver of life so He is the only One who knows when to give it, my loving husband comforted me. 

Still the same situation persisted---we were not getting pregnant. As months rolled by to years, I found myself getting more anxious than ever.  The past six moths were especially difficult for us. There are days when I had my period that I'd just cry myself to sleep. But it was also during these past six months when I found immeasurable comfort in God's words. When worry filled my heart, I would just open the bible and read the stories of Sarah, Rebecca and Rachel, over and over again. These three generations of women waited years, decades even, to conceive their first child. 

Sometimes my worry would be age related. I would worry that maybe it was hard for us because we were already in our 30s (and believe me, a lot of people told us the same thing). It hurt by the way, but I was reminded when the Lord told Sarah when she was doubting she'd ever have a child at an old age, "Is there anything too hard for the Lord?"

And in my quiet time with the Lord, I asked the same question, "Is there anything too hard for the Lord Lai?"  The answer is none. This is the God who created the universe that we are talking about.

So I tried my very best to hold on to these words and to the truth that when God maybe allowed us to marry a little late, He will take care of our biological clocks as well. The Lord has also taught us to nurture our marriage in love, and strengthen it while there's just the two of us. I thank the Lord because He blessed me with a very loving and patient other half. 

On the night of our third year wedding anniversary, the 30th of June 2015, we were in a bus enroute to Rolando's parents in the northern part of the Philippines. During the trip, the thought of us still not having a baby overwhelmingly pained my heart and I wondered how long would God let us wait. Individually, whilst sitting next to each other, we read our bibles for comfort. I read the story of Hannah in 1 Samuel and after reading, I just cried and cried. In the bus full of people mind you, including Rolando's parents. 

I felt so much like Hannah. Right then and there, in a moving bus, I just poured out my heart and soul to God like I never did before. After praying and bawling my eyes out, I felt a sense of peace that surpassed understanding. And just like Hannah in 1 Samuel 1:18, I felt radiant too and wasn't downcast anymore. 

I showed Rolando the verse which I felt the Lord speaking to me so powerfully at that time. It was 1 Samuel 1:27:

"I prayed for this child and the Lord has granted me what I asked of Him."

I told Rolando I'd hold on to that verse. We hugged and we prayed, asking God once more to bless us a child; we told the Lord how excited we were to become parents. 

We were in Hong Kong two weeks after when I realized it's already 45 days past my last period. This was the longest so far, and although it scared me, it excited me more than I feared. I was eager to do the pregnancy test in Hong Kong but Rolando asked me to just do it in Ireland because if the result was negative I might get depressed in front of my family. 

Three weeks after the crying-in-the-bus incident, we were back in Ireland. The first morning we were back at home, on the morning of the 20th of July 2015, at half-four in the morning, I woke up with unexplainable excitement and joy, uttered a little prayer and bravely took the pregnancy test. 

Three minutes later, I took a deep breath and peeked at the Pregnancy Kit. The result was there staring at me decidedly---PREGNANT! I screamed at the top of my lungs which of course woke up Rolando. I gingerly showed him the kit and we just hugged and laughed and cried, all at the same time!

The morning of the 20th of July 2015 in our apartment in Ireland, forgive the unwashed face :)

We went to the GP later in the morning to confirm the result. My doctor smiled and declared, "Well I got two positive lines, you are indeed pregnant!" These words were like music to my ears!

Little did I know, when I was crying and pouring my heart out to God in a moving bus, on our third year wedding anniversary, the Lord has already answered our most cherished prayer. That a baby has already been conceived in my womb!

So now I stand in front of you to declare God's goodness and unfailing love and to thank the Lord for answering our two years worth of prayer, tears and hope. We didn't exactly found out what's wrong with my extremely irregular periods but the Lord has used that mightily to draw us closer to Him while we waited for a child.

I am now 9 weeks pregnant and praise God, last week we saw our baby's heartbeat for the first time. To God be all the glory!

***

A Time to Replant

It was 2014 when I started collecting the indoor plants more popularly known as succulents. It wasn't an intention to collect back then; it was just merely to add greens in our apartment to evoke a feel of nature. I originally bought two and each payday since then, I added one or two. Two years later, the collection grew into 18-piece. 

As in everything to thrive, a re-planting is necessary. As you can see, some of the succulents have outgrown their original pots. Some have parts that have decayed over the years, which means they needed to be cut off or else, they will affect the other healthier part of the plants.

Over the weekend, R and I decided to re-plant these succulents to give them a new life. Spring is just around the corner and a warmer weather will be good to these plants who are actually made for the desert.

From the outside, you won't see anything wrong. But if you look closer, you'll realise, most of these do not fit anymore. Some have sprouted at the sides but clearly, they'd have no more room to grow.

R in action.

The re-planted succulents:

Life Through the iPhone

And just like that, half of June has gone by. It's now officially summer in Ireland and judging by the way the sun has been warming (and burning) us the past couple of days, I think we are in for another hot and lemony summer.  R has been nudging me to go out all day but this morning, I felt this aching need to string photos together, to memory-keep, to write my heart out because no matter how seemingly mundane my days and my activities are these days, I can't let this special month pass by without recording it. I'm staying put till I finish this post.

Life lately has been about new hobbies, summer reads, walk in the park, unanswered prayers and the need to be patient and lean on to God's timing and understanding.

These days too, I depend heavily on iPhone to capture random little things that make up the big picture. And if iPhone snaps are indication of life, this pretty much sumps up how the days of June rolled by:

Thoughts on Spring and Slow Sunday Afternoon

It's already my second spring in Ireland and yet, I am still in awe of it, still amazed by it. In fact, I am loving it more than ever. If love is sweeter the second time around, then that will probably explain best how I feel towards spring. It is undeniably my favourite season of all seasons. I am most alive when days are longer, the chill is milder, the chance of a blue sky is higher and blooms are literally sprouting everywhere. Not to mention that I can already wear sandals and flats. :)

Last weekend was a series of partying that we decided to slow down after church on Sunday and call it our own. The sun was out and bright, the perfect kind for park-hopping. It is the cheapest form of R&R one gets to enjoy in this side of the world where parks are abundant. By foot, we visited two parks, snapped some photos via our iPhones, chilled and took things slow. After enduring a painfully cold winter (figuratively and literally), the coming of spring time is a sweet symphony to our souls.

Sometimes we need days like this, to just lie down on green grass, to breathe in and marvel in the beauty of the season and to be fully in it, to close our eyes and whisper a silent prayer of thanksgiving to the Great God who has it all figured out including our future, to have a hushed soft talk on the verses where we feel God is speaking to us, and to dream and plan a little.  The effect on us is always refreshingly good. Always.

On another note, it's been three weeks since R started on his new job and so far, he's been very happy. Which makes me happy that he is happy. I'm still on a hunt for a job and still praying for direction.  A medical procedure is on the way but we have hope that it's nothing too serious. Our mothers celebrated another year in their lives on the 5th of April.  And lastly, there are some beautiful plans being cooked up for summer. 

I know in my heart that better days are ahead. That's what spring does to me, it keeps my hope up. Hope you feel the same way too. And in case you have forgotten, God loves you! Very very much. If you have some doubts on God's existence, hope this one will shed a light. Cheers!

***

All photos taken via iPhone4s/5s

While Waiting

And so I entered a new season of my life---a season of waiting. As life offered me necessary endings, I decided to take this season as an opportunity to trust Him who knows best. While waiting for so many things to happen that are not beyond my control and for which I can only do so much, I decided early on that I will embrace this season and be fully in it. That I will be productive. That I will do things in humility. That I will get to know new hobbies---scrapbooking a.k.a. Project Life, calligraphy and oh yes, knitting! That I will be better at the ones I have known---photography, writing and oh yes again, playing the guitar. That I'll be a better wife to my husband who's been working like a dog these days. And that, most importantly, I'll grow up in my faith walk.

As January came to a close, I let it go with no regrets and what ifs and what nots. Amidst all the let downs, life is still beautiful and God is still God. And though there are times inspiration is hard to come by, I will press on. Though it's not easy, and we are never promised an easy life anyway, I will wait---for His timing, for His yes, for His provisions, for His wonders to take me to heights I've never been and seen. I will wait---joyfully, faithfully and expectantly knowing that every detail of my life has been taken care of.

"But those who wait in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." - Isaiah 40:31

Necessary Endings

How can I even begin writing about my two toughest weeks of 2014 by far? (Insert the longest and  deepest sigh here.) I might be your Ms. Smiley on those snaps but I was hurting and worrying when they were captured, truth be told.

Let me begin by saying that in the span of just two weeks, I lost two precious things---my job and my iPhone 5. The former I relied on for financial security; the latter I relied on for connectivity. Not to mention that the smart phone was a gift and therefore had a sentimental value.

Week 3 - The Lost Job

It's the first time ever in my nine-year career that I lost a job. I was briefly told that it wasn't about my performance but that the company could instead hire trainees, either for free or for only half of my salary. I knew this for a fact (as well as the cash flow difficulty) so I accepted the decision humbly knowing that it was God who willed this to happen. 

Now I am and was grateful for that job. But there were days I had no joy at all going to the marketplace. There were days when, the minute I sat on my desk, I was wishing the day was over even before the computer asked for my password.  There were days when the only motivation I could hold on to was Colossians 3:23. Coming from big companies in the past, I value integrity and quality at work more than anything else but perhaps I didn't share the same values with this company I worked for. At one point, I was even told that I wasn't assigned any "messy work" because I was used to "structured work", whatever that meant to them. So I knew it was just a matter of time, that I would leave this company soon. 

Apparently, God has other plans. He obviously wanted me out of there sooner than I expected. I was delighted to be out of that work but the moment it sunk in, I got worried about our finances and the job-hunting difficulty in the private accounting sector (i.e. not audit or accounting practice which is really not for me anymore in this stage of my life). My number one encourager in the person of my husband recounted the times I had no job but God sufficiently provided, that we managed to pay the bills somehow. Slowly by His grace, I felt like I was getting back on track.

Week 4 - The Lost iPhone5

However, days after, my iPhone 5 was pick-pocketed in the city. I hadn't fully recovered yet from losing one thing then here came another lost. It was ironic because this unfortunate incident happened the week I was fasting from social media. Naturally so, I posted a question to God; I asked why He stripped me off one thing after the other. Obviously one of these is to be more careful with my belongings because apparently, smart phone theft is the number one crime in Dublin these days.  That I have to learned the hard way.

Necessary Endings

Then I was reminded by this that necessary endings are necessary for pruning, for letting go and for accepting that some things, no matter how good they are, must come to an end. As the wise Solomon puts it:

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."

There's a beginning and an end. Our four seasons in a year in Ireland is the quintessential of this verse. The same goes with life. The same goes with possessions. The crucial thing is to know when something has ended so you can learn, let go and welcome the new season fully and wholly.

Rolando understands this concept better than I do. When I lost my job and my phone, Rolando got to me wherever I was and just locked me in his warm and tight embrace. No blaming. No scolding. Just pure unconditional love shown at the time it was needed the most. His words of encouragement to me were:

"Lai those are just material things. Eventually, they will get lost, they will be broken. So don't put your security in those things so that when they're gone, it won't hurt as much and you won't feel less of a person."

Necessary Beginnings

Necessary endings are also necessary for something to begin. Of the countless trials I hurdled in the past, God never took something away from me without replacing it with the best ones! He has never allowed something to end without leading me on to a new chapter, a new season. So even if it was painful to lose these precious things and to put an end to the comfort they provided, I know He is preparing something for me. I may not see it now, I may not see it in the coming days, I just simply need to trust His sovereign plan.

Lessons Learned

On why these things were stripped off me and had to end? Because most likely, these are not good for me or they are holding me back from my true calling. It can be that I may need to step out in faith and explore other avenues where my talents and gifts can be maximised. It can be (and this one is quite obvious) that I need to spend less time on a smart phone checking feeds/sites when I can be accomplishing something worthy of my time like honing a skill or doing a hobby.  It can be that He desires to make rooms for something better. And no, better may not mean a newer phone or a higher-paying job. Better means being able to cultivate gratitude in our hearts.  Better means growing up in this season of inconvenience and taking it as an opportunity to be moulded by God. Lastly, better may simply mean finding joy knowing and trusting that God means well and He knows best. The answers can come later. :)

One Little Word: Humility

This is yet another inspirational project that I stumbled upon online. The aim is for you to choose one little word that you would like to reflect on and focus on as you go about with your daily life in a given year. It is also in a way, related to any creative stuff you'd like to embark on. As for me, I have forced myself to do the Project Life memory keeping and to be a minimalist at that.

***

For my one little word for 2014, I had pondered and contemplated almost all month of January often asking God in prayer what that word should be. As I have been wanting to revive "writing/blogging" this year, I had initially chosen the word write. But God, in His own sweet timing and nudging, decided otherwise. To be honest, I am very much aware that I need to grow up in this area, I was just really too proud to admit it. See? You can pick up by now that my heart needs to grow in HUMILITY.

At this point, I would like to elaborate why I need to meditate on this area all year long. Oftentimes, it is my pride, my selfishness and my lack of trust in God that drive me in doing things, on why I do what I do. I have always been guilty of wanting to be in control, of having an entitlement mentality, of worrying and of being ungrateful. Much of these really stem from my lack of understanding of who I am in the light of who God is. Apart from Christ, I cannot do anything, I have nothing. Am I not just a steward of whatever talents and things I possess? Do I really need to acquire things just to feel secure and important?

It is my prayer that as I have chosen and written down this one little word, that I will be humbled in the truest sense of the word. That instead of demanding, I will gain a child-like faith (Matthew 18:3), depending on God and putting my security in Him alone. That in the process, I will learn to put the needs of others first before my own and in turn, build a more meaningful relationships around me.  That I will be content of what little materials things we have. That along the way, my gifts, however simple and lacking they are, will be used to inspire and to encourage others.

Humility doesn't necessarily mean I should stop nurturing big ambitions. It only means that my dreams and decisions should now revolve around the question of "are they pleasing to God and am I doing them for the right reasons and motives?"

As 1 Peter 5:3-4 put it:

"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interest of the others."

My journey to learning humility will of course not be confined to a year, that's for sure. It will be a life-long journey. My desire is to be really intentional about it this year, to think of myself less and to put others first and foremost. Easier said than done, you would say and I will agree. But God's grace is always sufficient for us to try and to be better in this life. Until we become that someone He wants us to be, we should never stop trying. :)

What I want my 2014 to look like: To be filled with humility, to write, and to delight in life. 

A Week of Reflection

It was another holy week gone by in this fleeting life of mine, my first one since residing in a city where my faith walk has had its own share of ups and downs and bends and stretches.

For the past three years, holy week has taken a different level and meaning in my faith journey. This year, I committed to just slow down and reflect on God's goodness and greatness. I know this is something that I "should" practice everyday, but I'm still a work in progress needing a lot of molding and even pounding most of the time.

With my Instagram photos, let me walk you through my first holy week in Dublin and the reflections that came along with them: 

Monday Blues - On Monday morning, we walked our usual path and we were surprised to witness that ray of sun penetrating the thick grey clouds that enveloped and depressed the city for almost two weeks now. Finally, a little bit of sun would do this city good.

A stroll in the park Tuesday - I finally paid a lunchbreak visit to that park near the office and was charmed by those sweet daffodils in shades of yellow and white.  While I sat and ate and endured the freezing weather, I wondered what work it was that would make me happy, like truly happy. I lifted the question to God and that little pain I always felt when discussing about my career. At the end of the day, I felt grateful. I should be grateful. A lot of Irish folks had no job and couldn't find one in their own land.

Snowy Wednesday - I woke up earlier than usual, checked the weather and surprise, surprise: snow had built up in our tiny front yard! Oh, I had the best quiet time ever in front of the falling snow. For a while, it felt like Christmas and I just tucked my chin on my palms, wondering what God was thinking sending snow in March, a springtime.

Blue Skies of Thursday - What made my Thursday: I love you from my father, a boss who declared tomorrow a holiday, a blue skies, fluffy clouds and a pinkish sunset to gaze on while I walked from office to home.

Home Alone on Friday - So I learned that Black Friday is not a usual holiday in Ireland and it depends on your employer whether to call it an off or not. I was blessed to say I did spend the whole day at home in my pajamas while poor hubby had to work for one more day. I truly, madly, deeply miss my bum days.

Sharing on Saturday - We watched some clips from the Passion of Christ and we posted this question to our bible group: "What does the Passion meant to me?" My simple sharing consisted of this: "I just know that I need a Savior because I sin everyday." It still boggles my mind how Jesus endured it all, but one thing's for sure, because He loves me so much and it is one of my deepest desires to make something good out of this one precious life that He paid for in the cross.

Oh-Happy-Day Sunday - Nope, it's not about the Easter Eggs nor the Bunny. I know that for a fact, thank you very much. Behind those Easter Eggs was the celebration all around the world. To end this, I would just echo the words sang by the kids at our church with a hope that you too will know why we this week was holy and why today, of all the days, should be a one happy day. :)

"Oh happy day, Oh happy day

When Jesus washed my sins away...

Oh happy day..."

Two. Thousand. Thirteen.

Well hello 2013, we're so glad you came! :) Today, January 1, is one of our many firsts:

1) First new year away from our beloved Philippines.
2) First new year in Dublin, Ireland (silence at 12 AM almost killed me, haha! it was a complete opposite of what I was used to. I guess that goes to say that nothing beats the celebratory noise and warmth back home.
3) First new year as husband and wife.
4) First Blessings Jar! And we intend to make one year on year to cultivate gratitude in our hearts. We even plan to pass this tradition to our future kids (ehemmmm)! How fun it would be to look at the jars lining up our living room, wouldn't it? :)

5) First time to make a list of our commitments to God this year.

The past year was full of leaps and bounds, of love and forgiveness, of endings and beginnings. I've learned a lot in 2012, needless to say. It's always been God who held me in the palm of His hands leading me on, showering me with His TLC in so many ways that Has always left me in awe.

So to You, my Awesome, Wonderful, Magnificent God, I offer this year with all the faith my heart could muster. :)

Day 26: December Dear

26/30: First Christmas away from Home. This first of December just sends all the nostalgic nerves in my system at an all time high! *Sigh. I'm longing for home so much, you have no idea. Back in the Philippines, (where I hail from, proudly) I had always looked forward to December and all the wonderful things that went along with it---cooler breeze that always made me curl up in my bed one hour longer, Christmas songs playing everywhere (MRT, jeep, taxi, fx, neighborhood, malls, office, oh you name it!), holiday foodie (bibingka and puto bumbong!), lights in Ayala Triangle, kris kringle, shopping/discounts, gathering of relatives, meet up with friends, PARTIES, carols of the neighborhood kids, I could go on and on!

Both hubby and I are celebrating our first Christmas here in Ireland and we really don't know what to expect. We heard that it's not as festive as our homeland's, not as noisy, not as grand, and obviously, not as warm. But we are here and we're not flying 6,000 miles back (though we would love to if we could!) So eventhough I'm nostalgic as it is, I'm also aware that this is my new home now. It's also our first Christmas together as a married couple and there are plenty of things to look forward to (if only I could stop wishing I'm in PH this time of the year!). :(

To cheer us up somehow, we busied ourselves doing this little creative project today: our Advent Calendar (thanks to Pinterest for supplying the idea). We haven't completed attaching notes/activities until Christmas Day but the calendar is up on our wall now, letting us know it really isn't bad out here. We've gone a long way this year from our LDR: us reuniting in December 2011, separating in January 2012, reuniting in June 2012 for our wedding, separating in July 2012, then reuniting at last and for good in August 2012. Despite the fact that we're away from our loved ones' hugs and kisses, we do have a lot to thank God for!

December dear, welcome! Let's fill that calendar and wrap this year up with awesome memories, shall we? :)

Day 19: In Awe of Autumn, In Awe of You

19/30:  Autumn Again. Yet again, my feet brought me to St. Stephen's Green Park where the autumn season had rendered me speechless for the first time. As I sat there in the park taking in the delightful fusion of yellow, red and orange below and above the ground, I couldn't help but be awestruck of God's invention of autumn. I know Science has an explanation as to why leaves are changing colors and falling inevitably from their mother tree and all that stuff. But don't you wonder what God was thinking when He created autumn?

I read somewhere that the ultimate sacrifice of leaf-bearing trees in the autumn is the ultimate visual pleasure for us. So I'd like to think that when God created autumn, He was thinking of me! :) Experiencing autumn used to be just a dream. I know that God has purposefully allowed my first full autumn in Ireland to be a time of taking pleasure in nature, a time to harness some skills, a time of waiting, a time to be content and a time to practice faith more than anything else. Sometimes, it's easy to lose sight of how far God has taken me. But right there, in that moment, filled with awe and gratitude, I was reminded.

"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." (Ecc. 3:1)

 Dear God, thank you so much for this fab autumn, and please help me endure the coooold winter. I know I will be under Your tender loving care (TLC) through all the seasons in my life :)