10 PM Reminder

There was a period of months last year when I started praying at the same time, everyday. There were days when I'd fail, but I'd try again. This habit was shared to bf and we both tried, succeeded, failed and then tried again. Originally, it wasn't 10 PM. We kept adjusting because our time difference was also adjusting from 8 hours to 7 hours (the proverbial time saving thing), until we fixed it to:10 PM Philippine timezone = 2 or 3 PM Ireland timezone. We would drop whatever we were doing and would pray. Then we would send each other YM messages that we were done praying or he would call and tell me he was done praying.

I can't remember the time or month when we stopped praying together. I just remember that back then, we prayed for the silliest, smallest desires to the grandest of dreams that only the two of us knew about. I can also remember and testify to the truth that God answers prayers, because He did, He actually did answer so many desires of our hearts. 

We prayed for a new job for me. We prayed that my visa would be granted so I could visit him to Ireland. We prayed for his job regularization. We prayed for transformation. We prayed for financial provisions, for good health. All these and more, God granted lovingly to us.

Lately, I had not been praying well and regularly. I would have slept on tonight and just forget about the stress of yet another wedding venue hunting day if not for the 10 PM alarm in my cellphone. I've been missing the presence of God in my life lately because I was too busy and too exhausted with all the big changes in my life that I felt like a twig of wood being drift away. I was too full of myself to even acknowledge that God is just nearby waiting for me to draw closer to Him, so He could draw closer to me. 

The truth is God is whispering to me tonight. When I opened John Ortberg's books, it has this message in it:

Choose Jesus. When I read that, I knew I had to drop on my knees and pray and just lay down my concerns to God. 

Dear God, thank you for reminding me to pray and to talk to You like a good old friend. I miss you so much God. Thank you for putting this vacuum hole size in my heart that only You can fill. Thank You Lord for never giving up on me, for never getting tired of whispering to me that You are just there.